It offers them the opportunity for self-discovery. Swinging offers women more than sexual freedom. However, it was then the woman that made the effort to maintain this lifestyle practice. This practical arrangement supplants the socially arbitrated and pre-determined convention of monogamy.Ī consistent point that emerged from research by Thomas & Terry Gould, is that in nearly each and every interview held, it was the male part in couples that first suggested swinging to the woman. Rather, the distinguishing that the imposition of monogamy onto their relationship is purely societal allows swinger couples to maintain relationships that mature to a point where the aforementioned sexual power dynamic is fluid and re-negotiated at a subconscious plane. Swinging and swingers are not hell bent on destroying either marriage or relationships between couples in their more general scope. It is noteworthy however that monogamy is required for neither of the above, rather, it is society that assumes that the former cannot exist without the latter. The concept of monogamous relationships has been inexorably tied to the institution of marriage between couples (as well as that of relationships in the 'commitment' phase). This more fluid version of monogamy can be seen as a sexual power shift in favor of women within the traditional monogamous relationship structure.
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This etiquette creates a situation where women enjoy a degree of sexual confidence, freedom and power that is rarely found in the outside world. The clandestine nature of swinging and the swinger's lifestyle community seems to have created an etiquette that all but expunges the possibility for violence or acrimonious conflict. This draws parallels from the gay cursing scene, where no always means no, and that a polite decline should never be taken personally. Another pillar of the swinging lifestyle is that polite acceptance and refusal are paramount to maintaining a healthy atmosphere in any swingers club or relationship. It is also an established expectation that couples should have discussed their boundaries prior to trying swinging. Regardless of the form of swinging lifestyle a couple is engaged in, the common rule that runs through all swinging relationships is that 'no means no' and that any behavior that brings discomfort or crosses any boundaries that the couples may set is anathema to the lifestyle.
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The question arises - Does the Swinging Lifestyle the same recognition as other minority sexualities?Īs found in many types of sexuality, swinging assumes a few common forms or variants: This form of sexual identity is clearly outside the norm, and pushes the envelope as to what most 'normal' couples would consider acceptable. "To swingers, physical acts of sexual pleasure with someone you respect, just for pleasure, and making love to one's lifetime partner are two distinctly different things". Sex is therefore a very small part of the Swinging relationship. These are further necessitated when it comes to acting out such fantasies within pre- agreed boundaries. The core of a solid swinging relationship is the openness, communication and trust that are required from both partners to be able to discuss matters such as fantasies and desires openly. Swingers are couples (both straight and gay) who have made a conscious, consensual decision to partake in a committed relationship that allows the exploration of recreational sex with other couples and individuals.
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Swingers take an alternate route the above, however it is one that can engender more trust and honesty than traditional monogamous relationships do. The traditional modality of a relationship entails the promise to be faithful and sexually exclusive to a single partner for the duration of the relationship.
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To the majority of people brought up in western societies in the last century, a couple engaged in a relationship that does not espouse monogamy is an oxymoron at best, hypocritical at worst.